Autumn signifies the end of a cycle in life, and beginning of a new one. The brilliance of sunset painted leaves dancing across the Blue Ridge Mountains, the crunch under each step, and frost-bitten breath is enough to leave a girl speechless. It’s as though everything and everyone takes a moment to pause, and take order of their lives, choices, thoughts.
I’ve really found myself taking a look at my life over the last month and, despite how drastically things have changed, how I’m content.
Running has really taken a backseat in my everyday life and other forms of release have taken its place. Upon moving to Charlottesville, I found myself becoming bitter about how much things were changing. How terrible I felt leaving my running community- my family – behind in Charlotte. How my body and mind were in a constant battle between what was second nature and what had become a distant memory. I was anxious at the lack of social outings and even communication with like-minded people. As I noted back in one of my last blog posts, July, I believe it was, I laughably had turned into a hermit. But, as the seasons trickled into the next, I realized that maybe I had been kidding myself all along. Perhaps this was natures way of easing me into my own transformation; A new birth, if you will.
My anxious and withdrawn tendencies have blossomed into a better appreciation for my body, my mind, and my skills. I feel as though I’ve come into my own, and for the first time in a very long time, I feel at peace. Why do we fight change? Change in more often than not a catalyst for what needs to happen. Why are we so afraid of it?
I suppose this is my way of saying this – I’ve felt extremely frustrated at my lack of blogging as it relates to the subjects I focused on last year. But I’ve realized that the ebb and flow of everything in life, including this blog, will inevitably make way for better things. I will never stop running. And perhaps, come spring I will witness another transformation in the way of competitive edge returning, and I’ll eat these words. But for now I am okay with the physical and emotional release that casual, fun, trail running, yoga and being active on my own
Starting today, I challenge myself to post on a daily basis. I also literally challenge myself to a 30-day yoga challenge on my blog to really expand my practice and gain a better understand of why this has had such a positive effect on me.
For my usual readers, don’t worry, this personal transformation doesn’t mean my dry, quirky diction will disappear, quite the contrary. I feel all though I’ve actually found my voice.
I appreciate the continued love and look forward to what this all means and holds.