Have you ever had one of those days where you realize quickly upon waking that you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed? Today was one of those days.
Really, this all started last night. I decided that I didn’t want to cook (shocker, I know) so the hubby and I ventured out for a cheap, drink special inclusive meal. I knew I was going to have some sort of fried food so I thought hey, I’ll just run the 5 easy miles to the restaurant and I won’t feel bad. WRONG. The heat had gotten to me by 2 miles in and I stripped off every layer of clothing I could without it being considered
prostitution illegal. I ran/walked my ass up the hills heading southbound on Colony and took advantage of every patch of shade I could find. My NuunHydration was gone by mile 3.5 and I knew I was in trouble. To make matters worse, traffic was so backed up on Colony Road that I literally ran/walked stripped for next to a line of traffic for a half hour. And then I saw him. A tanned, built, shirtless, clearly works out for more than just himself, gentlemen who came barrelling out of the neighborhood about a quarter of a mile up the road. Suddenly I knew what I had to do. I dug deep, took some deep breaths, and sprinted up the mountains hills towards him. I needed a good ‘chicking’ to get me through the last mile and a half of hell (for those of you who are scratching your heads as to what ‘chicking’ is, it’s survival of the fittest moment when a man is passed up on the trails, course, race track by a woman and left in her dust). I finally caught up to him and slowed my pace just enough to saunter by and throw a sly smile his way before barrelling up the hill and out of sight. It was everything I could do not to turn around and call back “you sir, have just been chicked” but that would have taken more energy than the 89 degrees allowed me to have. That, my friends, is what one considers a successful bonk.
Now, onto this morning. For whatever reason, I slept terribly last night. I tossed and I turned and I couldn’t get comfortable or cool enough to make my radiator of a body sleep. I woke up later than I anticipated, rushed around to get some things accomplished around the house, had a sneezing fit from the head cold I managed to pick up post-wedding and hopped into the shower. Now, at that moment I thought things were looking up. I checked my phone and had made up just enough time to not be late for work. As I was leaning against the counter top putting on my foundation, things quickly spiraled downward. I felt a wet sensation on my thigh and looked down to see a huge glob of foundation sitting on my pants. My brand new pants. Just taken out of the bag from when I purchased them on sale at Target yesterday. YESTERDAY. It was all over after that. I burst into tears screaming into my phone at Siri begging her to
make me a screwdriver for the ride in tell me how I could get foundation off of clothing. I found a couple of ideas quickly as I apparently am not the only klutz who ruins clothing via foundation.
The first article I found said to use a makeup removing wipe to get off any excess without rubbing it into the fabric, so I did. The next article told me to try Dawn dish detergent and rub it in with my fingers, so I did. Right before leaving the house to speed to work and make my 9AM call, I threw them into the washer with more detergent than I probably should have, said a prayer and left. We will see what the verdict is when I get home this afternoon.
I’m feeling a little bit better now that I’m focused on work and know lunch is coming up soon. Plus my
drug Kate Spade order just shipped so I’m enthralled for my new purse/wallet combo that I snagged for 75% off and free shipping.
I’ll let you know if any of my initial attempts at makeup removal worked. If not? Rubbing alcohol, shaving cream and wine. Don’t worry, the wine is to help me drown my sorrows.